FAQs — Frequently Asked Questions — about Life Coaching

1 What do coaching, mentoring, and tutoring have in common?
2 Is Coaching like counseling?
3 Is Life Coaching like therapy?
4 What is Life Coaching?
5 Why did Life Coaching come into existence?
6 What is Holistic Life Coaching?
7 When and why would I need a Holistic Life Coach?
8 How does Holistic Life Coaching work?
9 What is Spiritual Counseling?
10 Do I have to wait until I have a crisis in my life before I need Spiritual Counseling?
11 Are the contents of my discussions with you confidential?
12 What techniques do you use during Holistic Life Coaching?


1 What do coaching, mentoring, and tutoring have in common?

What these three fields have in common is an interest to support, assist, and encourage individuals so that they can excel in interests, and activities that are important to them. Even in a specialized field of interest, for example tennis, Coaches, mentors, and tutors may have skills and expertise that are individually specialized. Yet, one individual may have the experience, skill, expertise, and knowledge to provide all of the services of individual mentors, tutors, and coaches.

Mentoring takes is roots from the Greek name, “Mentor.” Mentor was a trusted friend of Odysseus entrusted with the education of Odysseus’s son. Today, we think of a mentor as a trusted counselor, guide, tutor, or coach whom we consult about our common interests. The mentor “knows the way” of your path in life and advises you when you ask, and provides guidance at critical points when you don’t.

A tutor is a private teacher who provides individual instruction to a student. A tutor is concerned with a specific set of skills in a specific area of interest. For example, there are tutors for music in all aspects, intellectual, and academic interests, and the arts.

A coach also is a private tutor who instructs or trains a performer or team of performers. Specifically, a coach instructs players in the fundamentals of the game and directs team strategy. [Reference, Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary.]

A person with a serious interest in oil painting, for example, would engage a mentor who thoroughly understands the art of oil painting, and has worked the spectrum of oil painting. The mentor may refer the student to a tutor for specific techniques, and to a coach who would guide the student on how to engage the marketing of their finished works, for example.

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2 Is Coaching like counseling?

Coaching is not about how you came to be who you are; it is about helping clients get from where they are now to a specific point in the future. It is therefore 100% focused on clients achieving their goals as quickly and easily as possible. One way of making a clear distinction would be to say that counselors are in the business of recovery, whereas coaches are in the business of development.

At the same time however, it is important to note that there are similarities between coaching and counseling. The process works similarly one-to-one over a period of time. The skills are also similar as both require advanced questioning, listening and other communications skills.

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3 Is Coaching like therapy? - What Life Coaching is not.

Coaching is not therapy:

The intent of coaching is to help you live a life that is more productive, enjoyable, and fulfilling —those aspects of your life that are outside of your head and your mind, which is the province of psychotherapy.

Coaching is not about fixing “broken” people:

In fact, most people who hire coaches are already very successful. Yet in their success, they realize they can be even more successful, if they just make a few adjustments in their lives. A coach helps you to do exactly that.

Coaching is not just pleasant chit-chat:

Although coaching conversations can be quite fun, a coach's job is to help you move forward in a way that's totally in keeping with who you are and what you want - at work and in life. The goal of coaching is to facilitate deep learning and lasting change. So the coaching conversation needs to be both relevant and resonant.

Coaching is not about giving you the answers:

It's really about helping you figure out your own answers. It's really about helping you become a better communicator with YOURSELF because when you do, you naturally work harder and smarter. And do better.

Coaching is not another 'how to' course:

“How to” courses tell you how to do something;

• Coaching coaches YOU as you work through the issues you have and for achieving the goals you set.
• Life is a process — coaching is a process that parallels your life in the areas where you need coaching.
• Life is a process that is complex at times – coaching helps you “see through” those issues more easily.
• Coaching is not a recipe cookbook of how to do something, but a cooperative and collaborative “live and do” process.
• And coaching is not telling you how or what to do, but a process that builds upon what you want to do, and provides encouragement and guidance along the way.

NOTE: Some material in #3 above was used with permission from Barry K. Zweibel, www.ggci.com.

4 What is Life Coaching?

Quite simply a Life Coach is a person who helps you play the game of life more easily, expertly, and for more success.

A life coach also is a private tutor who instructs or trains you to perform better in life to achieve the goals you have set for yourself. Specifically, a Life Coach also provides you with an understanding of the fundamentals you need to grasp in order to live life more productively, according to the goals you have set for yourself. The Life Coach will also provide you with guidance concerning the strategies you will need to apply to achieve those goals. Some life coaches have defined their work as a goal-oriented, results-focused professional alliance that helps clients bridge the gap between where they are now and where they want to be.

There are many types of Life Coaches, including entertaining, socializing, financial, career (in various fields), diet and nutrition, weight loss, weight gain, etiquette, and many more. Google “life coaching” and see what you find.

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5 Why did Life Coaching come into existence?

Life coaching came into existence as a professional service in the 1990s because traditional sources of wisdom were no longer in existence. Traditionally, adults and children could go to their grandparents and ask them questions about life, how to live life more easily, how to avoid problems in life, and how to “become successful.” And in those times the answers were generally known to most everyone who had lived a full life.

But today, in the 21st century, life is not as simple. In fact, there are few lifestyles typical, ordinary, and traditional in technologically developed nations, with the exception of the Amish and similarly isolated cultures that exist within these nations.

In the 21st century, there are almost no traditional sources of wisdom to guide us through life’s thickets of problems and issues. So, to whom does one turn for assistance and wisdom? Today a life coach, mentor, a wise neighbor, a trusted relative, or someone who has helped you in the past are usually the ones we turn to for guidance. What most people are looking for is someone who can coach them through their current situation, and one who would also refer them to someone with more expertise for issues where more specific assistance is needed.

Coaching is a natural part of life:
* Competent parents coach their children to become happy, healthy adults.
* Friends coach each other to have more confidence in themselves.
* Married couples coach each other through the various hurdles of life.
* Coaching is all about having someone believe in you and encourage you, about getting valuable feedback, about seeing things from new perspectives and setting your sights on new horizons.
* Life Coaches help their clients achieve their best, in any field.
* It is a powerful alliance between two people that produces exceptional results.

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6 What is Holistic Life Coaching?

A Holistic Life Coach’s work includes all that of a Life Coach plus the knowledge and skills that will enable and empower you to appreciate your life as a whole system.

Holistic Life Coaching addresses all the significant issues that can affect the outcome of your life and your goals.

A Holistic Life Coach will help you see your life as a whole entity, not a combination of parts. Your wholeness also includes your life at work, your family, social life, recreation, hobbies, continuing education and skill development and much more. What this means in practical terms is that what you do affects all that is around you; and all that is around you affects you. A Holistic Life Coach will help you understand your life as a whole system – and from this important perspective you will be guided to understand how the parts of your life affect your ability to live your life with integrity, balance, and harmony.

Holistic Life Coaching will help you develop wholeness among your life’s many activities so that the achievement of your goals becomes a natural outcome of it.

Life often seems awfully complex when we have so many disparate activities and interests vying for our attention. A life that forms from the pursuit of holism, however, has a unity and wholeness to it so that it seems simple and integrated.

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7 When and why would I need a Holistic Life Coach?

When:

— you have a generalized dissatisfaction with life is a signal the services of a Holistic Life Coach may be needed —particularly if your dissatisfaction involves your own life.

— you begin to wonder and ask questions about the purpose and meaning of life, particularly your own life. Usually, many more deep questions will bubble up in your consciousness.

— a person in this situation usually cannot point to any particular problem, person, situation, or event in their life as the cause.

— people in this situation seek a Holistic Life Coach because they need answers that are bigger, more inclusive, and less ideological than want from a single point of view.

— a person who has gone through a crisis needs someone to help coach them back into the flow of their life.

Once the crisis is over, it is time to remove the debris in their life, and integrate the experience so they can go on again as they did before. Life can be very confusing, frustrating, and difficult at that time. An outside perspective that is compassionate, understanding, and sympathetic while being firm can be very helpful.

Crises are different for different people. Crises may look like opportunities to one person while for another it is a catastrophe. Each person who has gone through a crisis needs coaching that is specific to his or her life.

A Holistic Life Coach can provide a broad perspective of what happened, and can coach you through the reconstruction of your life.

Why:

— Rather than seeing your life in narrow, disconnected terms, you will be challenged to see your life as a horizon filled with systems of wholes.

— Helping clients see more options for their life.

— Discover your destiny: unique purpose, right livelihood, and point of brilliance.

— Giving clients a step-by-step process that avoids the overwhelming feeling of not knowing where to start.

— Encourages clients to identify old obstructive habits, drop them, and develop new productive habits instead.

— Asking clients the hard questions and helping them discover their own answers with confidence.

— Helping clients to stay committed to themselves and their goals.

— Become balanced, focused, effective, and thrive through difficult, uncertain times.

— Accomplish your goals in health, work, relationships, prosperity, and life.

— Shift and evolve out of self-limiting patterns, behaviors, and beliefs.

— Gain the clarity, insight, understanding, and guidance needed to solve your problems, issues, concerns, fears, and take right action.

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8 How does Holistic Life Coaching work?

“What you set your heart upon surely shall be yours.” Ralph Waldo Emerson.

The basic premise of life coaching is that as human beings we have tremendous potential and that working with a coach supports us in channeling our potential and in gaining momentum towards our goals.

Not too oddly one of the primary requirements for the Coaching process to work is humility, and that must come into being long before coaching begins. That occurs when the client accepts that he or she needs to see a coach to assist them achieve some level of personal performance that they cannot on their own.

Effective Coaches recognize their own need for humility with a new client. During the Introductory Phase, a coach must determine whether he or she has the skills and talents to adequately coach the client to a successful level of personal performance. And if not, then refer the client to an appropriate resource.

The introductory phase occurs when the client meets the coach and they both discern if they have a “fit” where the skills of the coach match the needs of the client.

We start the coaching process by getting a clear picture of where you are in your life and what you want to create. With a clear vision in mind you define your next steps with the guidance of your coach. Focusing on these smaller pieces takes the inaction (and overwhelm) out of the picture. You start to progress towards your goals while also maintaining a sense of connection and wholeness.

Coaching is a unique conversation between the coach and client that examines what it will take to move the client toward the goals he or she has created. During each session the client will commit to taking actions for the following week. When meeting the client again, the coach discusses the obstacles faced and the insights gained as a result, then helps the client set new actions and develop new habits to achieve the results they want.

Coaching supports us in living by design instead of by default.

There are different philosophical approaches to coaching:

1. Some coaches believe that people really need to be pushed to attain their dreams. This approach can be very effective for people that excel under pressure.
2. Some coaches believe that it is a matter of "just helping the client get out of their own way." This coaching model focuses on building the client's awareness and creating a space for healing and integration.

In our regular calls (or meetings) you'll share what is up for you, what things you are accomplishing and where you might feel blocked.

Coaching works one-to-one over an extended period of time. This way the work is targeted and focused to the client's need, plus the coach is able to make sure you really develop new skills and habits.

Over this time the coach helps the client set goals, provides feedback, perspective, encouragement and new ways of tackling situations. It's like having someone "running alongside you" in life, giving you the extra input and insights that can really make a difference to your success.

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9 What is Spiritual Counseling?

Spiritual Counseling is the complement to Life Coaching that results in Holistic Life Coaching. Similarly, your spiritual existence is the complement that completes the circle of wholeness with your material existence.

Spiritual Counseling provides clients with an awareness of the spiritual aspects of their lives. This awareness can enable a client to develop and create a life that has the potential to become full, whole, and intact. It provides a spiritual orientation and interpretation to your life that supports the achievement of your spiritual goals as well as your material goals.

Through the combination of Spiritual Counseling and Life Coaching you will come to understand the fundamentals of living a spiritually evolving life with the material realities of a material life, with a strategy for doing so.

A client who does not believe in the afterlife but does accept that there is an important spiritual component to life and living will feel right a home with the concepts I use.

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10 Do I have to wait until I have a crisis in my life before I need Spiritual Counseling?

It is to client’s best advantage in life to explore Spiritual Counseling before crises erupt. Building a stable spiritual, emotional, and material life provides a solid foundation to then deal with a crisis.

Spiritual Counseling prepares clients for the inevitable crises that life sometimes brings to us. This preparation won’t fully dissolve your immediate discomfort or anguish, but it will help you see the crisis in the spectrum of living that encompasses the greater whole of your life. Then you will be better prepared to move from seeing the crisis as insurmountable to a problem you can work through.

One of the exceptional benefits of Holistic Life Coaching and Spiritual Counseling is the awakening awareness of the ongoing process of our lives. When we are “in process” of living observing our lives as would another person, we become more objectively aware of our lives. We become prepared for the full parameter of issues from Karmic past life experiences, experiences in this life, and the spiritual significance of how we live lives now contributes to our spiritual essence in the afterlife.

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11 Are the contents of my discussions with a life coach confidential?

What we discuss will be held in confidence and not shared with others. The contents of our discussions will be confidential but not privileged for legal purposes. The confidence of our discussions does not provide a protection from disclosure similar to the privilege of confidentiality that exists for the clergy and for attorneys.

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12 What techniques do you use in Holistic Life Coaching?

As our relationship of service evolves, many techniques will come into existence:

The initial interview will give way to prioritizing your goals;

You will be motivated to examine why those goals are important to you. Without this step, you may not become aware of your deeper values and beliefs that will surely affect all the rest of your life and the fulfillment of the goals you set. Without this step, you may use many months and much energy to achieve goals that do not support the life you are trying to empower.

We will devise a strategy of your life that encompasses all of your goals, with measurable outcomes that will mark your progress.

We will examine your life again to visit areas that you may have consciously or unconsciously forgotten to acknowledge.

We will further examine the “meta” life you are living – that is, the life that you are living that is not apparent, and the goals of your “meta-life” that are coming into being, perhaps without your awareness.

If it is necessary, we will discuss your life in its fullest parameters with your Spirit Guides to understand what it is about your life that you are not seeing, and what yet needs to be accomplished. These wonderful beings of light understand the course of your life in ways that you perhaps have never contemplated from such a compassionate, outside perspective.

Meditation? Yes, meditation is a vital process of Holistic Life Coaching. Mediation, “the Stillness,” is an important process that enables your inner guidance is able to “download” its insights and wisdom to you without the hassle of your own busy cognitive thinking.

Deep relaxation? Yes, deep relaxation also is a vital part of your life. When is the last time you were fully, completely relaxed? What would your life be like if you could live in a pro-active, relaxed state of mind and in body as well? Clients are amazed by what deep relaxation can do for them and for their families, and careers.

As your Coach, I will also assist you to become skilled at “observing your life” not from an introspective point of view, but from the point of view of a compassionate observer. Objective self-assessment is a valuable skill to learn. Those who are hypercritical of him or her self will find this very useful as well.

In addition to the techniques of Holistic Life Coaching, I will provide you with a regimen that includes a constancy of support, understanding, and tenacious but compassionate strength of perseverance to help you achieve your goals, whether short term or long term.

Kindness in words creates confidence.
Kindness in thinking creates profundity.
Kindness in giving creates love.
~~ Lao-Tse

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